My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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