As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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