On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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