Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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