im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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