You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The uberlube is also flammable
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
