so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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