we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
