Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
