So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
