He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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