dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
