did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
