Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize