You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
