I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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