Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
