love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
