Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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