before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
