So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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