Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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