the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Bring me that man meat
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize