The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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