Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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