i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
