Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
