awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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