Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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