Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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