The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
