Having a random hookup so left but love u
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
