Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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