i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
