were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then my night got REAL pukey
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
