at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
