Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
