and my herpes radar will keep us safe
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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