i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
