I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You were trust falling into bushes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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