yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
