you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
