Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
