that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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