bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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