I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
