Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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