is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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