he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
