whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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