We should be called the Road Head Warriors
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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