Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm so fucking centered right now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
