garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Small penises have feelings too.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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