I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
