Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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