ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
tell me about the fingering
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