She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
