Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That accounts for only three of the penises
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
