I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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