I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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