some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
