...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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