I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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